pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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