Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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