Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
