Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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