I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why are your pants in the freezer?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
