is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
