Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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