you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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