Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
