I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
