I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
