With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
