Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
