brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
