Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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