So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
