Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
