I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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