I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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