i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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