....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
