I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
