what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
