So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
