I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
