i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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