Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
