I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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