where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
