Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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