woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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