Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
