can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
