she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
