I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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