Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
