um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
