i think i have two assholes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
