I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
