Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
