Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
