I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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