I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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