he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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