Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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