FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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