I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
