i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
