I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
