Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
